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Age: 40-49
Cynthia Kadijah
breast cancer
stage one

I don't remember off hand, the exact day that I was told by my surgeon that I had ductal carcinoma insitu. He only a few days before, removed a growth only about 1 cent. in size. I felt confident that it was nothing and that I was being conscienscious by letting him do the biopsy. But when he told me the news, he said not to panic because he did not want me to leave the office thinking that I have cancer. I don't think he realized how confused and angry I was. Oh, I smiled and said that I was not worried and I believed him when he said that everything would be fine. After all, these cancer cells were confined to a milk duct and showed no sign of outside invasion.

Well, if it was so minor, why was he recommending that I go through 6-7 weeks of radiation therapy? Why should I take the anti-cancer drug called Tamaxofene? These questions made me go straight to the Internet for answers. I needed to educate myself about a subject that I now realize I never thought I'd have to deal with. I have never smoked, seldom drank alcohol and I lived a pretty healthy life style even though I'm overweight.

My primary care doctor agreed with the surgeon's recommendations steered me to my treatments at the Cancer Treatment Center. "Don't worry. Your hair won't fall out and you won't lose weight as the chemotherapy patients do. Then why did my physical health take a downward slope? Why was I shocked and humiliated when the health care providers drew on my body (tattoos) and to put tape on it to boot?

When I read of other women dealing with more advanced forms of cancer, I feel very guilty and wonder if I should even talk about it much less complain. I realized after that, I am rightfully concerned because the fact that I am going to be taking Tamaxofene for the next five years, then there must be just cause for my feelings.

Where do I fit in? Am I healthy or sick? What percentage of women do I fall into? I always took for granted the way I fell into the statistics of the "norm."

I'm only into my third week of radiation treatments, so I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.

Thanks for the opportunity to write to you.

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