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Age: 40-49
Susan T. S.
breast cancer
stage one

I am a pediatric nurse practitioner who had previously worked in pediatric oncology for fourteen years in Boston. During those fourteen years, I met the most incredible families and children who were diagnosed with cancer. The courage and strength displayed by so many was truly what kept me in the field for so long.

It was the beginning of May when I discovered a lump in my breast. I was reassured by my gynecologist and general surgeon that it was most probably benign but they both recommended that it be removed. I was finishing up graduate school at the time and also was looking forward to a fun filled summer with my family. We had planned on vacationing one week with my family and the second week with my husband's family in Maine. So because of all my plans, the biopsy was done in August. Looking back over the past few months, I was anxious and had a weird "feeling" that all was not going to be OK despite the encouragement of my physicians. As it turned out, my intuition was right and I was diagnosed with breast cancer of the right breast. Fortunately, the axillary biopsy was negative so I did not have to do chemo. Because the disease was fairly extensive throughout the breast, I opted to have a bilateral mastectomy on August 17.

At this point in time, I have not done that much reading about breast cancer and because it was "in situ", I have a very good prognosis. The Reach for Recovery volunteer was wonderful, as have been my family and friends. I am at the point where I do not know what to feel about the situation. I am very active, but get cranky because of feeling tired. I just want this to be over with and feeling back to myself. People have told me that it will take 4-6 months to feel myself again. In the meantime, we are moving and our house is for sale adding stress to the situation.

I am not used to being in this situation (as are most people too) and cannot believe the roller coaster of different emotions which occur on a daily basis. I am usually a very positive and upbeat person but boy has this done a number on me. I am an extrovert so I am usually very upbeat while talking to friends or family. The bottom line is, boy do I feel cranky! I know that with tincture of time, I will feel better emotionally, but I sure wish that I had more patience. I do many daily activities and am not able to nap during the day.

I know that I am trying to rush this "process". Any tips for slowing down my impatience.... which has never been a virtue for me! Thank you so much.

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